My Semi-Automatic Life

Lemons?

2009-11-29T22:43:00.000-08:00

When life hands you lemons, you make lemonades and better still, make ice lemon tea with mint....mmmm refreshing.....and that is what I am feeling at this time...refresh from the few months of 'turbulent' time...well only a mild disturbance....imagine washing machine kind of spinning.

What is life without worry, suspense, argue and fear?....immaturity. You cant grow to be the person you want to be if your stuck somewhere and refuse to move or worst yet, making excuses for your self in order not to get face to face with CHANGE.

I must admit, I miss my boring life where I can lounge all day and night for the world to come crashing....I miss my 12 hour beauty sleep, my tv programmes, my turn cooking and so much less then more. I took a step forward and determine to make another step when the I am needed. I tell you 1 thing, your missing out on fun proceeding forward.

Sometimes to get to the other side you need to move forward one way or another. The transport you can choose, the path you can plan, the choice you can create, but the move you have to decide.

But when you decide to move have in mind always and forever of LOVE. Love for the people around you and don't trample on them just to reach to the top. There is a reason we are made more then just 1 person...and that is to work together in harmony like an orchestra. Have God always in your mind then you know where to draw the line. If you don't understand about God, go find out. If you don't believe in God, then I will pray for you.

To summaries, with lemons we can make lemonades if we have water and sugar and optional ice. In life we need, guidance from God, a heart of Love, make the move and the way is your choice.

Miss February

2009-02-25T22:06:00.000-08:00

If I ever get a change to pose for a calender I'd wanna be Miss February cause it's my birth month. Nothing comes and goes by faster then February....oh look at the date I am 26 days late to be updating my blog...hhhmmmm...

Sorry for the delay, when February comes I always make it a point to do something our of the ordinary....yeah rite. This February however was not as easy coming by. With just enough money in my pocket to make it to the next month, I pulled a few strings and canceled a few of my February favourite things to do one and did a 360...so to speak.

Hitting 29 was a reality reminder that I will soon be leaving this 20's line of age.....waaaahhhh...in my years before, exercising is one of my least favourite thing to do, knowing that very well and how less the stamina I have I joined the 8th annual Treasure Hunt anyway...ahahahaha....what a joke right....wrong....... I never run so fast in my life, I never breath so hard in my life and I never felt so nausea ( I hope I spelt it right) after that.

And after all that running and thinking my kness aches so bad I can hardly walk...way the go...(patting myself on the back)

Yes your very own Miss February is a home grown couch potato...hehehe

Being my team and my first time we didnt know what to expect but we'll be better prepared the next year...yes I want to join again...

The spur of the moment decision to do things out of the ordinary has thought me to live my life out of the extraordinary...but I am still not doing bungy jumping or sky diving...and this is why I am Miss February I am unpredictable......

Elevator life

2009-02-01T20:57:00.000-08:00

Life's like that...one day your going up and the next your going down. Either reality bites u back on your behind or your caught in the drenching rain and now I am laying in bed listing:-buy a sturdifer umbrella next time...

Just when things starts looking like nothings can rain on my parade, things starts to appear reminding you of the reality of life....it's like when your watching a black and white romantic film and suddenly black spots starts appearing here and there the next thing you know...the film is on fire......splash with water and your left with the clean up to do.

I've gone through this road so many times and I resolve them in the same way as before....I go balisticly emotional...don't worry you don't get to see that part :-)

I am already down with flu, now I feel like I am being stab on the back....it's like being trampled down a busy road by other pedestrian TWICE...times like this I feel like just running off........

Then again I console myself that Life is suppose to be like that.....check my pulse ....I am fine :-)

Getting Organized

2009-01-19T20:05:00.000-08:00

It's time for a change I am gonna pull myself together and get organized again...I think my 'honey moon' year has long been expired and I am taking the highway...tik tak tik tak(signalling to the right)

I hate it when someone ask me...'so what do you do?....eeerrr I am in my family business..tell U the truth I am bored of saying that. I am thinking to look at the other directions. Got no money in my pocket but that won't stop me just have to tie up my tummy and voila I may even kill 2 birds with one stone.....

With the 2009 organizer my mom gave me last week I am in free gear. Thanks mom, I love it. Finally got 1 month's list of things to do on.....

Next I need to rearrange my room, I need a new closet or cupboard or shelves or something ...maybe a table...study table...I'll go look for one behind my house later on...got to improvise....

Follow on I am going to sort out my wardrobe again...I can't still find anything to wear....I'll always end up with jeans and T-shirt again......need to go window shopping for styles then I'll hit the rombengan next week ....got spare change honey........heheheh....

Where is the LOVE........

2009-01-15T23:32:00.000-08:00

I am not a love guru or an expert about love but I brought up this topic because while I was greeting cards searching I overheard a conversation between a guy and the gift shop sales girl.

The guy was asking about a card he usally buy from the gift shop and the sales girl told the guy that the card he wanted was out of stock. Looking rather dissapointed he asked assistants from the sales girl to find him a card for his love one.......

sales girl: How about this one?
Guy: ok, that will do...(and hurryly went to pay for them)

My gosh where is the love. I feel sorry for whoever his buying the card for. For goodness sake take a little time to think it over, even if your buying an empty card take time to select the right illustration....I can imagine how the person who will be receving the card....

Girl: Aaaawwwww...I feel the same way....tq.
Guy:(thinking-I am gonna score tonight)

Well, I have 1 thing to say to this type of men.........watch out cause what comes around goes around........

Glad 2 Be Blogging Again

2009-01-15T19:57:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile since I my last blog and being so, one may think I would have lots to write...well yes...if only I could remember them all...hehehe...relax we got all year....

First of all,

Happy New Year

....it's been a great start so far cause I finally got my
DRIVING LICENCE..........hurray...............took me actually 2 months to finish the whole course and I am finally back on track...it's about time.

Finally achieving my long time goal got me thinking on my new New Year's resolution....which is to complete a goal in every month so that when I look back on my year later, I can feel fulfilled....Well at least 6 over 12 goals done will be a good achievement for me....

..........And my other resolution is to ZIP IT-cut the gossip-although I don't have much things to talk about and when I do it's always and mostly telling to my husband, sister, cousins,friends...ok ok I tell it to everybody and I don't even realise it...dam my gums showing smile...Chinese say people with gums showing when they smile can't really keep mums...so they say...

GOOD BYE & SO LONG 2008
although it has been a rather slow year for me, with God's guiding hands I manage to go through it safe and sound.AMEN.

I am glad to be stepping into 2009, maybe it was the intoxicated Vodka lime my cousin Sheila made for the new year's toast or the fighting of the microphone during our karaoke crazed or the once in a year clubbing hoping with my cousins and young aunt-yes some of us were like a monkey fanatically crawling out the cage kind of behaviour....haiyaiyai......who knows...it all happens so fast....I feel this year is going to be an awakening of ME......

So here's a toast to the New Year, may it brings us more laughter, more energy, more cravings for better and healthy success, good health of course cause were growing not younger and most of all may we find God in the sight of loneliness, failure and joy......

YYYYYYY CHEERS YYYYYYY

Puteri Karmel

2008-12-08T05:20:00.000-08:00

On the 5th of December 2008, my cousin and I decided to hit the road to Puteri Karmel, Kangaran in Tambunan for Life in The Spirit Seminar. The trip from home to Tambunan town was around 1 hour after which we took a left turn from the center of the town towards Kaingaran-our 1st time to a unknown place. Below is a picture taken along the way to the retreat center. The view was magnificent, mountains after mountains.
The road as you can see is not smooth. We had to go slow over graveled and jagged stone road. We were worried that it might get dark soon cause it was around 5pm and we prayed it doesn't start.

We finally made it although we were 30 minutes late. From the distance we saw everyone had already arrive and stared with sing and praise. Picture below of my cousin still have time to give the camera a little wave :-). So we quickly rush down the hill to register. We were so surprise we were participant number 838 and 839. This was the first biggest group for the seminar.

The entrance to the chapel is beautiful and inviting. We sat right outside on the first day. Soon later it became dark and there was a little drizzle of rain.

From the gate the road goes down hill, but luckily we got a parking somewhere near the gate or else we would have to walk up which my cousin and I just don't have the stamina for....heheheh.

The seminar attended by around 800 participant because of the school holidays. People came all the way from Sipitang to join in the praising and at the same time be healed by God. The chapel was pack in and out.

Below is the tight schedule, no time wasted. The seminar was in BM for the benefit of the local people and easy to follow for those English speaking faithfuls.

After each session we went down to the ground floor, here we took the road instead of the overly congested stairs, to the none permanent canteen. The fog is coming in from the distance.

Because we were late and there were to many participant we sleep in the hall right below the chapel. Unfortunately the picture below is dark but I just want to show you a rough idea. Praise the Lord no mosquitoes buzzing around, occasionally we encountered with some crickets and moths and long legged spiders. Other then that the floor is comforting during a long days seminars.

The morning session starts every morning at 6 am. The first morning people rush to the bathroom from 3 in the MORNING...I don't know how they can stand the cold water and air. We had our baths somewhere close to 5 am and the water was ice cold. One morning we decided to chilled out a while in my cousins car before the next session.

This picture taken on the 6th of Dec. I hate waking up so early but with the grace of God I survived....hehehe

On the last day I pose in front of the chapel's entrance. people clearing up the floor pads for sitting and taking pictures behind me. Right in the middle is the altar.
We went down the hill a little further to visit the gorotto. Here is a picture of the statue of Mother Mary up close.

Here before the bridge to the gorotto

And here is one from up the hill looking down. There is a stream dividing the sitting area from the gorotto area, beautiful.

There is still more to see if I went further down the hill but maybe next time.

I can see why many faithful likes to come to this place for retreats. It's so beautiful and isolated. Far away from the modern world your able to focus and have one to one with God. You have the nuns and brothers to accompany and guide you with praise and prayers. For me if I want to get away from the pressure of life and be close to God this is a place to come to.

It's amazing how the sisters here understand us in a way that is indescribable. You have to experience it here to understand. They offer retreats for big groups like this or one to one.

CONFIRMATION-THE SACRAMENT

2008-12-07T23:13:00.000-08:00

I was 24 when I decided to proceed with my Sacrament of Confirmation. I had long to complete my Confirmation ever since I was engage to be married but never got to do it cause I was to afraid I would be to late or to old. If it was my choice, I'd prefer to attend a shorter duration RCIA class...........................that was then.

I saw an announcement in one of the church I attended randomly, about the RCIA class and I though it's now or never. The part I dreaded was that I had to attend the class for 1 year but I join anyway because of the urgency and that the class was on Thursday nights, meaning I would be free on Sundays.

I tried persuading my fiance to come join me but he said he wasn't ready yet. I was of course devastated to go to class alone but went anyway with a lazy heart. After enrolling a little later after the date of registration, I sat in class looking some sort interested.

Of course like any new class, there would be orientations. The class of less then 20 people introduce ourselves, and listen to one another. I was relieved to hear that I was not the only one attending just to get married and finding out they had a previous cathecument who joined in his late 80's. Gladly I felt my earlier insecurities vanished.

So in the beginning I tried to be attentively interested and amazingly my heart was captured by the real life experience of the facilitator themselves and others sharing the same faith. I was amazed by how some people can just leave the life they had before that was so ambitiously successful yet negatively showing in their attitudes like anger, drinking, drugs, cursing, revengeful, free sex and all the attitude presently influence by the world's way of living. In other words they had everything but they were invisibly empty. I had to find out why and how they did it. That was the start of my new life.

As you would know by now through by earlier blogs, I grew up between separated parents and love thirsty siblings. I was trap in a world of growing myself as a person and being parents to my brothers and sister. Sometimes I would suddenly burst out in tears wandering how I was going to fix this mess and sometimes without reason at all. I was lost, afraid and empty inside. Being born Catholics, I was thought the 3 basic prayers and I would use them all the time for comfort. Yet things I prayed and ask doesn't seem to be answered. So prayer became nothing just a dialogue with myself and I.

My eagerness for the answer grew from a tiny mustard seed. I began to listen attentively and absorbed every drop of knowledge that was shared. I wanted to be cured from my 'sickness' and I long to be love unconditionally. I found that in Jesus.

Days before my confirmation, I haven't even gone for confession. I was worried and nervous mostly cause it's been a while since my last confession. I lined up many times for confession but chicken out the last minute. The night before, I went to Sacred Heart Chapel praying for a priest to suddenly pop in and had sudden urge to give confession....well he never came. So I sat there sobbing and worrying what would become of me the next day. Disappointment came over me cause my preparation for confirmation was not complete.

Easter morning, I sat through rehearsal with a sense of fear and gloominess. Suddenly my prayed answered, the facilitator ask if there was anyone who haven't gone for confession that the priest was available. 2 of us stood up and we had our confession right that morning. After that I was relieved and ready.

Evening came. I sat through Easter Vigil praying and excited. My turn came for the anointing with the oil. As soon as the oil was rub on my forehead making the sign of the cross I felt a rush came over me...I had smile from ear to ear and felt like jumping. Quickly I went back to my seat with the feeling to dance and cheer. I hide my feelings to myself and poured them out during singing.....oh the feeling was phenomenal.

Ever since then, I feel closer to God then ever. My prayers now are more of a conversation with God then only to myself. I began to understand the route of my life. The things I always worry or though I should not have made that mistake before are clear to me. Most of my whys are answered and my hows are clear to me.

Although I may not be perfect, but I know when I need help, when I need guidance, when I am stuck in a rut, when I am feeling blue....I pray and He will definitely answer but in His own time and in His own way. Don't be discourage and don't give up just pray with all your heart and be patient.

Love and hate

2008-12-01T20:02:00.001-08:00

I am currently reading a motivational book, cause I need a boost in my life. One of the things the book told me to do is to categories what I love and hate to have or do to put my life goals in prospective. Here goes........

LOVE

1. I'd love to feel free from needing to worry on money for bills.

I'd love to be financially free. (who doesn't)

2. Love to have more time with people who have no time.

3. Go on spontaneous holidays.

4. Love to have a home that I personally design myself.

5. Love to have a bossiness of my own interest-which I have not figure out what yet.

6. Love to be able to help others in need.

HATE

1. Doing things I don't want to do.

2. Hate bills.

3. Hate confrontations.

4. Hate direct selling.

So the message here is to change the way I run my life now and eliminate the things I hate

and to make more on the things I'd love to do.

Picture Perfect

2008-11-30T05:38:00.000-08:00

Everybody dreams of a picture perfect life. A happily ever after.
Graduate and your the man.
Got promoted and your extraordinary.
Married and your perfect.
Have kids and your complete.
Who does not want to be sleeping on a bed of roses?

Unfortunately a perfect life, leads to a BORING life.

People say you got to have some spice in your life. Their right but I say you have to have some 'bumps' in your life. How else are we going to learn and mature for the better.

In a marriage course that I attended, the facilitator ask the class..who in here has not had arguments with their future spouse? If there is a couple here who has not had fights before please leave the room cause if you haven't then you've not understand each other yet. Please come back when you have.

Happy and sad, love and hate goes hand in hand in building a person. The difference is how a person overcomes the situation. The next time you feel that your stuck in a rut- think positive, nurse your battle wounds, dry up your tears with good quality tissue, toss out the bucket of rum flavoured ice cream, put your chin up and turn the other side cause the......

BEST IS YET TO COME.

and that's how you live life.... fall and get up again...

no regrets.... just life experiences..

The Time of the Month

2008-11-28T20:02:00.000-08:00

(Yes I can't find what other topic to blog about so please excuse my forwardness...)

It's the time of the month again for every women to deal with-PERIODS. I still remember when I was younger expecting to have my first period, just like any young girls I was scared. I'd have so much question in my mind like 'does it hurt', 'will it be flowing out like water from the pipe','how painful will it be', 'I am afraid I might leak out my skirt', and so on so forth. Nowadays it's more like 'Ok stand back nobody mess with me or they're gonna get it' kinda look or worst in action or the fragile mood 'Oh no that puppy lost it's way...I think I am gonna cry'.

Besides the mood swings, for me I tend to eat a lot before periods. I have cravings of everything that pop's in my mind and that is scary. I would feel all bloated up before periods and I get so over paranoid with my weight...pity my husband have to hear..'Do I look fat..seriously...you better tell me the truth or I'll punch you on the face'....hahaha but not that brutal-lah. But the over eating doesn't happen to me on every pre-period time..if this month I crave for food next month I wont.

The worst is my tummy gets bloating so many people think I am pregnant and I get even more paranoid...argggghhhh. Once when I was in high school one of my guy classmates came and forecast that I will have my period in 3 days just by looking at my gut. Well that's a gift you get when your living with many sisters.

When my period comes my tummy shrink just a little and this time I feel like wearing sexy clothes as long as it curves my body right. Yes this is why women are women.

Then there is the which pad should I buy/use? moment. So many brand, so many scented kinds, so many colours, so many beautiful packaging...heck buy them all at less I have a whole year supply. Whatever goes your way.

Whatever our moods or our choice nevertheless periods are a great excuse for us to indulge in chocolates...mmmm chocolate and red wine....and pickles and limes and so on...

Be warn thou, when before and during period refrain yourself from drinking cold beverages cause it may give you bad effect on the womb area as we age. Better yet practice drinking hot, warm or room temperature drinks to prolong your womanly health...hehehe

Best yet...HAVE A HAPPY PERIOD

Contemplation

2008-11-23T22:40:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday mass reading, the 34th Sun In ordinary time year A, got me contemplating on alot of things of my pass. Its the year end reading and of course we are encourage to rethink back on our doings towards other and towards God.

I though about how many people I shared my shoulder with, how many I helped when no one else want to lend a hand, how many times I ask for forgiveness, how many meals I prepared for the hungry and so on and so fort....I though about how many people I hurt with my lies and gossip, how many have I scolded, how many have I ignored to pursue my own happiness, how many have I not say I am sorry....

People say it's ok we are not perfect but each day we are given by God to redeem ourselves to become better people for others and yet we take a different opportunity...we take the opportunity to make ourselves better, ourselves richer, ourselves prettier, ourselves fatter, ourselves successful. There is nothing wrong with success as long as we don't lose sight of God., lose sight of Love.

We live in a world were the better you are the greater your respect but their wrong. It's not the success we have that is important but the love to others is. How can we make the world a better place if we think only for ourselves. Mother Theresa says it best....God does not want us to be successful but He want us to be faithful.

I may have hurt more then I help many but at least I know I did and I did it whole heartedly.
Get ready for a better you from me.

Bright Up Your Day

2008-11-23T21:10:00.000-08:00

Unexpected bouquet of flowers always brightens anyone's day. The delicate arrangement on the bud of flower, the velvety feeling of the petals, the sprinkle drops of water that gloss and sparkle in the sun, the rainbow colour of nature always carve a smile on anyone's face. The problem is we don't get them as often as we love too.

Others may not understand us as well as we understand our self so why wait to receive, go purchase them yourself. I did just that. Well anyway I just could not resist buying a few as I walk pass the corridor of the mini market last Sunday.

The refreshing green chrysanthemum and sexy pop out pink of roses, caught my eyes. Together they make great combination and great contrast to any room.

I could not find for the perfect vase so I settled to place them in an old coffee bottle instead.

The flowers made not only me but others brighten up as the walk pass it. No matter what your feeling happy or sad...go get some flowers to brighten your day. Don't need to be good in arranging these days the internet can teach anyone anything. Don't need a pocket full of cash to buy some too. All you need is you to brighten your day...

Fried Chicken

2008-11-21T21:34:00.001-08:00

There was a story Rinto told me long ago but now he forgot that he told me before. Anyway he told me about the fried chicken incident that happen to his group of friends. As young men this group of friends were working odd jobs and collecting money just enough to pay rent. 3 times a day meals were not a priority as long as they have enough money for cigarettes and for fun.

One day when everyone just got their pay they decided to have fried chicken for dinner at home together. So that night they enjoyed their rare meal, finger licking good, and slept. Being boys they woke up late only to be surprise and awaken by the good smell of chicken soup. So they got up kind of quick and dive for the prepared brunch. Suddenly one of the friend said out loud to the others ...'wow who is so kind to have bought chicken for this meal'...then the chef of the day said ...'who said I bought the chicken, this soup was made from the left over bones last night'...aaaaaaaaahhhhhh yuck.....

Breakfast at home

2008-11-19T21:47:00.000-08:00

Todays breakfast is rice with green beans sausages...hopefully will last me till afternoon.

and a glass of lukewarm water with honey and apple cider in a tiger beer glass..hahah..

Something bugging

2008-11-18T21:31:00.001-08:00

I've been happy and cherry these few days must be the retreat having an effect on me. Things has been going great yet I have the feeling something bad is going to happen. From the back of my subconscious mind I feel something is bugging me

Can't put a finger on it just yet but I pray it's not something worst. There is a saying here that to much laughter might just end you up with tears. When ever I remember the saying I get myself prepared. Prepared or not whatever comes will just hit me like a train. I need to pray.....

Saint Theresa's Prayer

2008-11-18T21:09:00.000-08:00

May today

there be peace within.
May you trust God

that you are exactly

where you are meant to be.

May you not forget

the infinite possibilities

that are born of faith.

May you use those gifts

that you have received,

and pass on the love that

has been given to you.

May you be content knowing

you are a child of God.

Let this presence settle into your bones,

and allow your soul the freedom to sing,

Dance, praise and love.

It is there for each and every one of us.

Leave it upon God's Hands

2008-11-17T23:42:00.000-08:00

Sometimes we can't have everything we wan't just because other people have them. What we have around us, family, friends, cars, education, gym privileges, that little Chanel dress...etc is all parts of building the person we are today. Getting what we want may not help us, it may also fail us in life.

First thing is first if we want something, we got to pray for it. Leave it upon God's hand to let u have it or not. Cause we don't know what will happen tomorrow and only He does. It's up to Him to give.

Just like yesterday, I was worried about my driving test, I prayed that morning for guidance, protection, strenght, wisdom and whatever it is I leave it upon His mighty hands. I took a bus at neighbourhood, apparently bus don't pass as often as before anymore. Although my dad called me half way while I walked to the bus stop to give me a ride I said no thanks and prayed deep down God send me a bus. 20 minutes later the bus came. With the guidance and protection of God I made it to the driving test center. After taking time to do the mock test and some revisions I took the test and passed. Others came in and fail their test and that was the 2nd attempt for them. I must say it wasn't that hard but the questions where purposely misleading at times.

Another time was when I was young, seeing my parents fight all the time made me think if I would ever have a good relationship with anyone in the future. So I prayed for a good relationship and partner. Years past and now I have a wonderful husband. Although we have just been 1 year married and have been together for 11years now of course I still worry about unpredictable things...any girlfriend and wife would, I continue to pray for guidance

Living life is not easy poor or rich. Although outside life is great but inside we cry alone at night...I was like that I tell you I was a wreck...suddenly broke down and cried but I learn to get through it with God's strenght.

I learn to let go of my problems and let God handle them. Although my experience that you have read are not so incredibly wow-weee, I wan't you to try, whether you believe or deny Him. If your ever having a bad day.... leave it upon God's hands sincerely.....

Healthy Mut

2008-11-17T02:45:00.001-08:00

Even the dogs are healthy and cukup makan...these I took between the retreat center and the at the orphanage next door..Don Bosco Orphanage

Clarice was trying to get the dog to look at my camera with her foot...

I know...cute kan

Puppies wrestling

Cute again

This one look like a St. Bernard..excuse me look here puppy

And the dogs there have big heads. And every time the orphanage bell is ringing the dogs all join howling like a choir..

Weekend Retreat

2008-11-17T02:14:00.001-08:00

I was away for the weekend for a church retreat on bible in the family life. It was 3days and 2 nights of fun with the Lord.

During my stay I manage to capture beautiful pictures with my cell phone camera, I forgot to bring my camera. Anyway everything came out beautiful

I have publish my pictures in all my blogs so feel free to check out my other blogs-stylekita and amy's art diary.

Picture here are Mt. Kinabalu, Steps to the church, the Garden at the retreat center.

Stuck!

2008-11-12T01:28:00.000-08:00

If your coming from Donggongon to KK every morning around 7am this is what you'll be in...STUCK in a jam.

Normally it would only take around 15 minutes to reach the city but during week days let's just say please tune in to your favorite radio station.

Luckly it's not as bad as it looks. Just hold on to your seat and sing alittle song and you will be on your way slowly.

Brunch is served.......

2008-11-09T02:39:00.001-08:00

Our most favourite Sunday brunch spot has always been the coffee shop cum bakery along the Lintas- Kolombong Highway. We love brunching there cause it caters many things we love.

One of the things I like about the place is you will never know what they've decided to make. Just like the French loaf top with chicken potato curry with onion and tomato bind together with a layer of melted cheese.

My old time favourite is the fried chicken. It is so juicy, a little bit spicy, crunchy and the most beautiful part is the size. One is just enough. They also have chocolate slice cake, pandan slices, egg tarts, nasi lemak and even kon-lau-mien (a noodle dish normally and originally serve with pork).

There so many to choose. It's a great place to bring the kids and believe me it's like a toy store. Rinto love having pork buns ( picture) and the pork noodles.

I forgot every time to find out the name of the shop but it's right next to a clinic along the highway, I know it's around the Iramanis area( if I am not wrong )...if your there on weekends don't forget to have some chives or spring onion bun loaf. Its like savory loaf...although you don't see a line buying them the buns disappear as soon as they come out the oven. When you get to buy some, store them in an air tight container and reheat them in an oven for 10mins before cutting them in two and spread whatever spread you desire.

Finally me driving-stage 1

2008-11-08T06:18:00.000-08:00

Finally I started my driving class again...after all these years of cowardness I have decided to face my fears. I pray this time I will be better. I don't mind paying the fee and I don't mind the duration for the class but I mind waking up early.......but then again it's a great start to a better me...

I know it may look late for me but it's better late then never....around the bend and over the hill...the hill section I hate the most....haiya.....

Somebody stole the mouse....

2008-11-05T23:51:00.000-08:00

I found it lying in Alan's bed.

..my it rest in peace..

When I came to the computer early this morning, I wasn't so surprise the computer mouse went missing cause it was giving me and the rest using the computer some problems lately. Yes I've tried cleaning it, clearing of the dirt or dust from the wheel, no different.

I knew sooner or later somebody was gonna take it off and have it replace but no new mouse was seen anywhere. I intended to get a new one soon as I got my pay this month unfortunately there is a little bit delay with my pay. I knew also my brother, big Alan, would have taken the mouse off cause he gets irritated easily...hahaha.

Not surprise but more furious I remain calm before reemerging each cupboard for an forgotten mouse...I thought I seen one laying around somewhere.... mouse or no mouse I must update my blog.

Thank God I didn't have to wait long just as I was blogging my brother Oliver came and handed me a new mouse..thanks Oliver

For The Time Being...

2008-11-04T20:38:00.000-08:00

For the time being our bedroom has ceiling 'ornaments'..hehe

My husband has sports for this whole week

and he needs his jersy dried for the next day.

Luckily the material dries of fast- semiauto fast.

Amen to that.

Cute Photo

2008-11-04T19:58:00.000-08:00

Rinto's 29th birthday.

Blowing out the candle

with the help of cute

little Bubu, our

1 month old puppy.

Our Unforgettable Day

2008-11-03T22:41:00.000-08:00

Sorry I am Not Available on Thursday Evenings

2008-11-02T23:23:00.000-08:00

Many people know I volunteer to help out in a class at Stella Maris Church, Tg. Aru every Thursday. Some seen me while attending the class and some may know from my husband Thursday routine...

rinto's friend :-'mari minum dulu(come let's go for a drink).'
rinto :-'Hari ni hari empat sia mau ambil bini sia di church, lain kali ja
(today is Thursday I have to pick up my wife from church).'

Hahaha, his great for being a good sport.The ride home together gave us time to make small talk.
I join RCIA when I was 24 for confirmation class. I join because I wanted to get married so my interest then was just to join and get the paper. Little did I know God had other plans for me...

Living between separated parents there are times I just felt I have missed something. I was very negative on myself. I felt un pretty, I felt my height was not normal, I was not perfect for anyone, I was timid. Fortunately I found myself with great company. I have friends who are chain smoker, do drugs, clubbing underage, drinker and so on but they all protected me from all the things they did. They advice me not to follow them. So I stayed out of some of those things.

As a child I prayed often for protection and guidance and He answer my prayers without even me realising it, till now. I always have this guilt for not completing my confirmation sacrament before but now it seems even sure that He has a plan.

When I did complete the class in 2005, I had a different view of God then before. I was full of encouragement by Him. The moment the priest anointed me with the holy oil my heart felt like bursting for joy, in fact I did a little dance that no one else saw...hehehe. The feeling was magnificent. That day change me to be better for GOD.

So the next year I came back and this time I sat in front of the class as a facilitator. I wanted to give something back to God for the goodness He gave me. I can say now that without my class I think I will be lose cause the truth is, an hour a week with God is not enough. We can say we prayed but do we really pray? We can say we attend mass but do we go early? We can say we donate money to the church but does it comes from the heart? We can do so many earthly things for the church but the most important thing we are ask to do we don't even acknowledge - spreading the good news.

I read in the papers over the last weekend an article about ANNE Rice the Vampire writer(I use to love reading her books). I was surprise to find out that she was a Roman Catholic before turn atheist and rediscovered God again after Hurricane Katrina. How wonder full it is, I thought to myself, that God called her back like the parable of the prodigal son. See how God works in mysterious ways. He calls each and everyone of us, we just need to listen and open up our hearts.

I was no angel then and I am no angel now. I am just an ordinary person being rescued by my Father in heaven. Thinking back I used to cry alone alot and have sudden breakdowns because of my past memories. Now I am free cause God has taken the burden of my shoulder and is walking with me. I still am fun crazy like before but to a limit.

I found God every Thursday in the eyes of my friends attending the class. You have those eyes too but you just don't now it yet. I pray for you that you find your answer to your sadness, your loneliness, your drunkardness, your emptiness and your problems. I pray you do.

You don't have to be voluntering for the church to be close to God, although we do need more help. You just have to work what God has given to you - Love -
Love thy neighbour.

Hard to say Goodbye

2008-11-01T03:33:00.000-07:00

As a child you never thought life would be difficult. The word difficult does not even exists in your childhood vocabulary. It wasn't long when trouble came to our family.

My parents separated and remain separated until today. I was 12 then and my youngest sister was barely 2 years. I was so in denial in the beginning and did not understand what was going on. I remember thinking it was only a game my parents played to scare us or test us. How naive I was to think so.

At that time I have just continued my studies in a private school together with my other siblings. It was with the friends in the school that I knew separations and divorce was a common thing. I slowly swallowed the facts. Life made us 4 siblings closer.

Divided by sea, our mum now lives in Kuala Lumpur. Although its only a 2 and half hours flight away, its hard. Its hard to say hello when you know soon you will say good bye, its hard to enjoy the gifts and the meal when you know you will miss them dearly. Everything my mum gave even if it's the smallest or the least important I will keep them cause to me the gifts she gives reminds me of her and the time we should have been together.

We are bread in two different world, that's why we, the children, decided to live where we were brought up. The worst feeling I have is thinking of her all alone. She works like an ant, none stop, wakes up bright and early, comes home late and tired, repeat the whole process again the next day. She had to love what she does, cause it fills the loneliness inside of her. To know and understand what she feels inside is unbearable to me.

Never in a year we would not see each other cause she will find time to see us or to get us there. Every time she comes, we can't wait and every time she goes we dread the day. I was 12 when she first came to visit and cried terribly when she left. Now at 28, I still have the sadness and the tears but I don't cry so much, just tears gather in my eyes plus a sleepless night before she goes back to KL.

When the time comes.....and even thou I will see her again...it's hard to say goodbye....

Taken and Sold (-How I Met my Husband-)

2008-10-10T16:57:00.000-07:00

Sorry ladies Rorinto Marcus is mine :D ... taken and sold .... actually its the other way round.

Yes, its official we are soon to be a year in marriage life and I am glad to say its all good. I woke up early this morning thinking about life and the best moments was meeting my husband. Before time and age sweep my favorite moment away, here is our story.....

We were not introduce by mutual friends or some party, we knew each other from college just as college mates for the first time studying Diploma in Graphic Design. I came in the second day of this tiny class in one of the local college here. As I was entering the class, he was the first person my eyes caught (although he was sitting in front of the corner of the room which was a blind spot as one where to enter the room for the 1st time) and I couldn't stop looking at him. Boy he was and still is a sight (singing-...its just a little crush...in my head).

Knowing my experience with other crushes before I knew I could never get a guy like him. So I said to myself never mind, admiring from a far is good enough. From then on I just treated him like any other crush, admiring from a far but this time don't fall into deep, good looking people like him was way out of my league.

Around 10 months had passed and those time we spoke only few words mostly the hellos and the goodbye and the smile see you tomorrow. In class I was rather playful to my class mates. We sat facing each other and when we raised our heads to think of some creative ideas sometime we would catch a glimpse of each other and I would wink at them or make faces or talking with no voice. I did do some of these to Rinto and he would later admit that he was afraid of my daringness. Sorry sayang...I cant get ideas by just being still and quite ...

Anyway, it still brings a smile to my face and laughter to my heart when I recall the first time he got a chance to speak to me, he ask me to be his girlfriend...wahahahahaha...I was thinking what bullshit, please don't take advantage of my perasanness....

It all started 10 months later, when one of our friend began passing around a horoscope book during class. I use to like reading through the compatibility section and dream of the person that would be my soul mate....hahaha so dreamy. Well, the book in the end was passed to me and as I was going through it Rinto suddenly came and sat next to me, I thought of nothing of it at that time. I was looking at my favourite section and telling him that I was Aquarius and a Libra according to the book goes well with me..with that he pop the question....

I was stunned and embarrass and feeling my face blushed at the same time. I was like could this be real.....nnnnnaw...his just pulling my leg....what if...naw don't be so gullible...what does he see in me......It was like an hour him asking me. After that I just said I don't think so, I don't even know you, give me time (alalala mau mau, tidak tidak).

For one week after lets just say we said more words then hello and goodbye...but I still didn't accept him. It wasn't until our trip to Manukan Island. Sitting on the jetty under the night sky even the stars where brighter then usual and the chillness in the air didn't bother us one bit (although we were shivering), that we spoke heart to heart about our family. Him mostly talking about his life experience in a broken family that is like mine....that my heart opened up.

One of our romantic dating scene was beneath the starry sky's of Tanjung Aru Beach. What a date it was because a few times we saw a shooting star and we made a wish every time. Nothing can compare with that sight at the beach...although I haven't accept him still....

A few more dates lead to one evening, this time I asked him to be my boyfriend. 23rd December 1998, 8pm we were semi quarter-official. Although when I decided to move on to the next step, I said to myself I am still young, it's just a phase and it's not like we will be forever...I was wrong.

Fast Forward to 20th October 2001 we got engage and finally married on the same date in 2007.

God has a plan for each of us in His own timing.

Thank you, Amen.

Auto Pilot On

2008-10-10T16:27:00.000-07:00

Remember the scene in the movie Click ( Adam Sandler) where he press auto pilot and his life went glidding through time. I can relate to that. 10 years is almost passing by and I am still where I was 10 years ago. I admit I am not a go getter person and I am afraid of a drastic change of my comfort zone. So I press auto pilot now and then.

Gosh! I feel like a failure. Sometimes I think about it and cried and still after that I still dont move. Maybe I am a late bloomer....hmmmm. Maybe I am just chicken...hmmmmmm. I comfort myself by saying something will come up for the better but when only God knows.

My auto pilot habits has made me a forgetful person and a forgotten person. I am only remembered by my pass life 10 years before. I am a shadow.

Although not everything is a lost. I got to meet the most amazing man. Amazing because his not only smart in his own little time but good looking too. I got the best of both world-the brain and the looks.

There is a bright side to every story, even the gloomies or the saddess story has a glowing amber. My bright side is first to admit my flaws. Now the healing begins....so let the show begin and the auto pilot control be no more...