Lemons?

When life hands you lemons, you make lemonades and better still, make ice lemon tea with mint....mmmm refreshing.....and that is what I am feeling at this time...refresh from the few months of 'turbulent' time...well only a mild disturbance....imagine washing machine kind of spinning.

What is life without worry, suspense, argue and fear?....immaturity. You cant grow to be the person you want to be if your stuck somewhere and refuse to move or worst yet, making excuses for your self in order not to get face to face with CHANGE.

I must admit, I miss my boring life where I can lounge all day and night for the world to come crashing....I miss my 12 hour beauty sleep, my tv programmes, my turn cooking and so much less then more. I took a step forward and determine to make another step when the I am needed. I tell you 1 thing, your missing out on fun proceeding forward.


Sometimes to get to the other side you need to move forward one way or another. The transport you can choose, the path you can plan, the choice you can create, but the move you have to decide.

But when you decide to move have in mind always and forever of LOVE. Love for the people around you and don't trample on them just to reach to the top. There is a reason we are made more then just 1 person...and that is to work together in harmony like an orchestra. Have God always in your mind then you know where to draw the line. If you don't understand about God, go find out. If you don't believe in God, then I will pray for you.

To summaries, with lemons we can make lemonades if we have water and sugar and optional ice. In life we need, guidance from God, a heart of Love, make the move and the way is your choice.

Miss February

If I ever get a change to pose for a calender I'd wanna be Miss February cause it's my birth month. Nothing comes and goes by faster then February....oh look at the date I am 26 days late to be updating my blog...hhhmmmm...

Sorry for the delay, when February comes I always make it a point to do something our of the ordinary....yeah rite. This February however was not as easy coming by. With just enough money in my pocket to make it to the next month, I pulled a few strings and canceled a few of my February favourite things to do one and did a 360...so to speak.

Hitting 29 was a reality reminder that I will soon be leaving this 20's line of age.....waaaahhhh...in my years before, exercising is one of my least favourite thing to do, knowing that very well and how less the stamina I have I joined the 8th annual Treasure Hunt anyway...ahahahaha....what a joke right....wrong....... I never run so fast in my life, I never breath so hard in my life and I never felt so nausea ( I hope I spelt it right) after that.

And after all that running and thinking my kness aches so bad I can hardly walk...way the go...(patting myself on the back)

Yes your very own Miss February is a home grown couch potato...hehehe

Being my team and my first time we didnt know what to expect but we'll be better prepared the next year...yes I want to join again...

The spur of the moment decision to do things out of the ordinary has thought me to live my life out of the extraordinary...but I am still not doing bungy jumping or sky diving...and this is why I am Miss February I am unpredictable......

Elevator life

Life's like that...one day your going up and the next your going down. Either reality bites u back on your behind or your caught in the drenching rain and now I am laying in bed listing:-buy a sturdifer umbrella next time...

Just when things starts looking like nothings can rain on my parade, things starts to appear reminding you of the reality of life....it's like when your watching a black and white romantic film and suddenly black spots starts appearing here and there the next thing you know...the film is on fire......splash with water and your left with the clean up to do.

I've gone through this road so many times and I resolve them in the same way as before....I go balisticly emotional...don't worry you don't get to see that part :-)

I am already down with flu, now I feel like I am being stab on the back....it's like being trampled down a busy road by other pedestrian TWICE...times like this I feel like just running off........

Then again I console myself that Life is suppose to be like that.....check my pulse ....I am fine :-)

Getting Organized

It's time for a change I am gonna pull myself together and get organized again...I think my 'honey moon' year has long been expired and I am taking the highway...tik tak tik tak(signalling to the right)

I hate it when someone ask me...'so what do you do?....eeerrr I am in my family business..tell U the truth I am bored of saying that. I am thinking to look at the other directions. Got no money in my pocket but that won't stop me just have to tie up my tummy and voila I may even kill 2 birds with one stone.....

With the 2009 organizer my mom gave me last week I am in free gear. Thanks mom, I love it. Finally got 1 month's list of things to do on.....

Next I need to rearrange my room, I need a new closet or cupboard or shelves or something ...maybe a table...study table...I'll go look for one behind my house later on...got to improvise....

Follow on I am going to sort out my wardrobe again...I can't still find anything to wear....I'll always end up with jeans and T-shirt again......need to go window shopping for styles then I'll hit the rombengan next week ....got spare change honey........heheheh....

Where is the LOVE........

I am not a love guru or an expert about love but I brought up this topic because while I was greeting cards searching I overheard a conversation between a guy and the gift shop sales girl.

The guy was asking about a card he usally buy from the gift shop and the sales girl told the guy that the card he wanted was out of stock. Looking rather dissapointed he asked assistants from the sales girl to find him a card for his love one.......

sales girl: How about this one?
Guy: ok, that will do...(and hurryly went to pay for them)

My gosh where is the love. I feel sorry for whoever his buying the card for. For goodness sake take a little time to think it over, even if your buying an empty card take time to select the right illustration....I can imagine how the person who will be receving the card....

Girl: Aaaawwwww...I feel the same way....tq.
Guy:(thinking-I am gonna score tonight)

Well, I have 1 thing to say to this type of men.........watch out cause what comes around goes around........

Glad 2 Be Blogging Again

It's been awhile since I my last blog and being so, one may think I would have lots to write...well yes...if only I could remember them all...hehehe...relax we got all year....

First of all,

Happy New Year

....it's been a great start so far cause I finally got my
DRIVING LICENCE..........hurray...............took me actually 2 months to finish the whole course and I am finally back on track...it's about time.

Finally achieving my long time goal got me thinking on my new New Year's resolution....which is to complete a goal in every month so that when I look back on my year later, I can feel fulfilled....Well at least 6 over 12 goals done will be a good achievement for me....

..........And my other resolution is to ZIP IT-cut the gossip-although I don't have much things to talk about and when I do it's always and mostly telling to my husband, sister, cousins,friends...ok ok I tell it to everybody and I don't even realise it...dam my gums showing smile...Chinese say people with gums showing when they smile can't really keep mums...so they say...

GOOD BYE & SO LONG 2008
although it has been a rather slow year for me, with God's guiding hands I manage to go through it safe and sound.AMEN.

I am glad to be stepping into 2009, maybe it was the intoxicated Vodka lime my cousin Sheila made for the new year's toast or the fighting of the microphone during our karaoke crazed or the once in a year clubbing hoping with my cousins and young aunt-yes some of us were like a monkey fanatically crawling out the cage kind of behaviour....haiyaiyai......who knows...it all happens so fast....I feel this year is going to be an awakening of ME......

So here's a toast to the New Year, may it brings us more laughter, more energy, more cravings for better and healthy success, good health of course cause were growing not younger and most of all may we find God in the sight of loneliness, failure and joy......

YYYYYYY CHEERS YYYYYYY

Puteri Karmel

On the 5th of December 2008, my cousin and I decided to hit the road to Puteri Karmel, Kangaran in Tambunan for Life in The Spirit Seminar. The trip from home to Tambunan town was around 1 hour after which we took a left turn from the center of the town towards Kaingaran-our 1st time to a unknown place. Below is a picture taken along the way to the retreat center. The view was magnificent, mountains after mountains.
The road as you can see is not smooth. We had to go slow over graveled and jagged stone road. We were worried that it might get dark soon cause it was around 5pm and we prayed it doesn't start.


We finally made it although we were 30 minutes late. From the distance we saw everyone had already arrive and stared with sing and praise. Picture below of my cousin still have time to give the camera a little wave :-). So we quickly rush down the hill to register. We were so surprise we were participant number 838 and 839. This was the first biggest group for the seminar.

The entrance to the chapel is beautiful and inviting. We sat right outside on the first day. Soon later it became dark and there was a little drizzle of rain.

From the gate the road goes down hill, but luckily we got a parking somewhere near the gate or else we would have to walk up which my cousin and I just don't have the stamina for....heheheh.

The seminar attended by around 800 participant because of the school holidays. People came all the way from Sipitang to join in the praising and at the same time be healed by God. The chapel was pack in and out.

Below is the tight schedule, no time wasted. The seminar was in BM for the benefit of the local people and easy to follow for those English speaking faithfuls.

After each session we went down to the ground floor, here we took the road instead of the overly congested stairs, to the none permanent canteen. The fog is coming in from the distance.

Because we were late and there were to many participant we sleep in the hall right below the chapel. Unfortunately the picture below is dark but I just want to show you a rough idea. Praise the Lord no mosquitoes buzzing around, occasionally we encountered with some crickets and moths and long legged spiders. Other then that the floor is comforting during a long days seminars.

The morning session starts every morning at 6 am. The first morning people rush to the bathroom from 3 in the MORNING...I don't know how they can stand the cold water and air. We had our baths somewhere close to 5 am and the water was ice cold. One morning we decided to chilled out a while in my cousins car before the next session.

This picture taken on the 6th of Dec. I hate waking up so early but with the grace of God I survived....hehehe

On the last day I pose in front of the chapel's entrance. people clearing up the floor pads for sitting and taking pictures behind me. Right in the middle is the altar.
We went down the hill a little further to visit the gorotto. Here is a picture of the statue of Mother Mary up close.

Here before the bridge to the gorotto

And here is one from up the hill looking down. There is a stream dividing the sitting area from the gorotto area, beautiful.

There is still more to see if I went further down the hill but maybe next time.

I can see why many faithful likes to come to this place for retreats. It's so beautiful and isolated. Far away from the modern world your able to focus and have one to one with God. You have the nuns and brothers to accompany and guide you with praise and prayers. For me if I want to get away from the pressure of life and be close to God this is a place to come to.

It's amazing how the sisters here understand us in a way that is indescribable. You have to experience it here to understand. They offer retreats for big groups like this or one to one.

CONFIRMATION-THE SACRAMENT

I was 24 when I decided to proceed with my Sacrament of Confirmation. I had long to complete my Confirmation ever since I was engage to be married but never got to do it cause I was to afraid I would be to late or to old. If it was my choice, I'd prefer to attend a shorter duration RCIA class...........................that was then.

I saw an announcement in one of the church I attended randomly, about the RCIA class and I though it's now or never. The part I dreaded was that I had to attend the class for 1 year but I join anyway because of the urgency and that the class was on Thursday nights, meaning I would be free on Sundays.

I tried persuading my fiance to come join me but he said he wasn't ready yet. I was of course devastated to go to class alone but went anyway with a lazy heart. After enrolling a little later after the date of registration, I sat in class looking some sort interested.

Of course like any new class, there would be orientations. The class of less then 20 people introduce ourselves, and listen to one another. I was relieved to hear that I was not the only one attending just to get married and finding out they had a previous cathecument who joined in his late 80's. Gladly I felt my earlier insecurities vanished.

So in the beginning I tried to be attentively interested and amazingly my heart was captured by the real life experience of the facilitator themselves and others sharing the same faith. I was amazed by how some people can just leave the life they had before that was so ambitiously successful yet negatively showing in their attitudes like anger, drinking, drugs, cursing, revengeful, free sex and all the attitude presently influence by the world's way of living. In other words they had everything but they were invisibly empty. I had to find out why and how they did it. That was the start of my new life.

As you would know by now through by earlier blogs, I grew up between separated parents and love thirsty siblings. I was trap in a world of growing myself as a person and being parents to my brothers and sister. Sometimes I would suddenly burst out in tears wandering how I was going to fix this mess and sometimes without reason at all. I was lost, afraid and empty inside. Being born Catholics, I was thought the 3 basic prayers and I would use them all the time for comfort. Yet things I prayed and ask doesn't seem to be answered. So prayer became nothing just a dialogue with myself and I.

My eagerness for the answer grew from a tiny mustard seed. I began to listen attentively and absorbed every drop of knowledge that was shared. I wanted to be cured from my 'sickness' and I long to be love unconditionally. I found that in Jesus.

Days before my confirmation, I haven't even gone for confession. I was worried and nervous mostly cause it's been a while since my last confession. I lined up many times for confession but chicken out the last minute. The night before, I went to Sacred Heart Chapel praying for a priest to suddenly pop in and had sudden urge to give confession....well he never came. So I sat there sobbing and worrying what would become of me the next day. Disappointment came over me cause my preparation for confirmation was not complete.

Easter morning, I sat through rehearsal with a sense of fear and gloominess. Suddenly my prayed answered, the facilitator ask if there was anyone who haven't gone for confession that the priest was available. 2 of us stood up and we had our confession right that morning. After that I was relieved and ready.

Evening came. I sat through Easter Vigil praying and excited. My turn came for the anointing with the oil. As soon as the oil was rub on my forehead making the sign of the cross I felt a rush came over me...I had smile from ear to ear and felt like jumping. Quickly I went back to my seat with the feeling to dance and cheer. I hide my feelings to myself and poured them out during singing.....oh the feeling was phenomenal.

Ever since then, I feel closer to God then ever. My prayers now are more of a conversation with God then only to myself. I began to understand the route of my life. The things I always worry or though I should not have made that mistake before are clear to me. Most of my whys are answered and my hows are clear to me.

Although I may not be perfect, but I know when I need help, when I need guidance, when I am stuck in a rut, when I am feeling blue....I pray and He will definitely answer but in His own time and in His own way. Don't be discourage and don't give up just pray with all your heart and be patient.

Love and hate

I am currently reading a motivational book, cause I need a boost in my life. One of the things the book told me to do is to categories what I love and hate to have or do to put my life goals in prospective. Here goes........

LOVE

1. I'd love to feel free from needing to worry on money for bills.

I'd love to be financially free. (who doesn't)

2. Love to have more time with people who have no time.

3. Go on spontaneous holidays.

4. Love to have a home that I personally design myself.

5. Love to have a bossiness of my own interest-which I have not figure out what yet.

6. Love to be able to help others in need.

HATE

1. Doing things I don't want to do.

2. Hate bills.

3. Hate confrontations.

4. Hate direct selling.

So the message here is to change the way I run my life now and eliminate the things I hate

and to make more on the things I'd love to do.

Picture Perfect

Everybody dreams of a picture perfect life. A happily ever after.
Graduate and your the man.
Got promoted and your extraordinary.
Married and your perfect.
Have kids and your complete.
Who does not want to be sleeping on a bed of roses?

Unfortunately a perfect life, leads to a BORING life.

People say you got to have some spice in your life. Their right but I say you have to have some 'bumps' in your life. How else are we going to learn and mature for the better.

In a marriage course that I attended, the facilitator ask the class..who in here has not had arguments with their future spouse? If there is a couple here who has not had fights before please leave the room cause if you haven't then you've not understand each other yet. Please come back when you have.

Happy and sad, love and hate goes hand in hand in building a person. The difference is how a person overcomes the situation. The next time you feel that your stuck in a rut- think positive, nurse your battle wounds, dry up your tears with good quality tissue, toss out the bucket of rum flavoured ice cream, put your chin up and turn the other side cause the......

BEST IS YET TO COME.

and that's how you live life.... fall and get up again...

no regrets.... just life experiences..

The Time of the Month

(Yes I can't find what other topic to blog about so please excuse my forwardness...)

It's the time of the month again for every women to deal with-PERIODS. I still remember when I was younger expecting to have my first period, just like any young girls I was scared. I'd have so much question in my mind like 'does it hurt', 'will it be flowing out like water from the pipe','how painful will it be', 'I am afraid I might leak out my skirt', and so on so forth. Nowadays it's more like 'Ok stand back nobody mess with me or they're gonna get it' kinda look or worst in action or the fragile mood 'Oh no that puppy lost it's way...I think I am gonna cry'.

Besides the mood swings, for me I tend to eat a lot before periods. I have cravings of everything that pop's in my mind and that is scary. I would feel all bloated up before periods and I get so over paranoid with my weight...pity my husband have to hear..'Do I look fat..seriously...you better tell me the truth or I'll punch you on the face'....hahaha but not that brutal-lah. But the over eating doesn't happen to me on every pre-period time..if this month I crave for food next month I wont.

The worst is my tummy gets bloating so many people think I am pregnant and I get even more paranoid...argggghhhh. Once when I was in high school one of my guy classmates came and forecast that I will have my period in 3 days just by looking at my gut. Well that's a gift you get when your living with many sisters.

When my period comes my tummy shrink just a little and this time I feel like wearing sexy clothes as long as it curves my body right. Yes this is why women are women.

Then there is the which pad should I buy/use? moment. So many brand, so many scented kinds, so many colours, so many beautiful packaging...heck buy them all at less I have a whole year supply. Whatever goes your way.

Whatever our moods or our choice nevertheless periods are a great excuse for us to indulge in chocolates...mmmm chocolate and red wine....and pickles and limes and so on...

Be warn thou, when before and during period refrain yourself from drinking cold beverages cause it may give you bad effect on the womb area as we age. Better yet practice drinking hot, warm or room temperature drinks to prolong your womanly health...hehehe

Best yet...HAVE A HAPPY PERIOD

Contemplation

Last Sunday mass reading, the 34th Sun In ordinary time year A, got me contemplating on alot of things of my pass. Its the year end reading and of course we are encourage to rethink back on our doings towards other and towards God.

I though about how many people I shared my shoulder with, how many I helped when no one else want to lend a hand, how many times I ask for forgiveness, how many meals I prepared for the hungry and so on and so fort....I though about how many people I hurt with my lies and gossip, how many have I scolded, how many have I ignored to pursue my own happiness, how many have I not say I am sorry....

People say it's ok we are not perfect but each day we are given by God to redeem ourselves to become better people for others and yet we take a different opportunity...we take the opportunity to make ourselves better, ourselves richer, ourselves prettier, ourselves fatter, ourselves successful. There is nothing wrong with success as long as we don't lose sight of God., lose sight of Love.

We live in a world were the better you are the greater your respect but their wrong. It's not the success we have that is important but the love to others is. How can we make the world a better place if we think only for ourselves. Mother Theresa says it best....God does not want us to be successful but He want us to be faithful.

I may have hurt more then I help many but at least I know I did and I did it whole heartedly.
Get ready for a better you from me.

Bright Up Your Day

Unexpected bouquet of flowers always brightens anyone's day. The delicate arrangement on the bud of flower, the velvety feeling of the petals, the sprinkle drops of water that gloss and sparkle in the sun, the rainbow colour of nature always carve a smile on anyone's face. The problem is we don't get them as often as we love too.


Others may not understand us as well as we understand our self so why wait to receive, go purchase them yourself. I did just that. Well anyway I just could not resist buying a few as I walk pass the corridor of the mini market last Sunday.

The refreshing green chrysanthemum and sexy pop out pink of roses, caught my eyes. Together they make great combination and great contrast to any room.

I could not find for the perfect vase so I settled to place them in an old coffee bottle instead.

The flowers made not only me but others brighten up as the walk pass it. No matter what your feeling happy or sad...go get some flowers to brighten your day. Don't need to be good in arranging these days the internet can teach anyone anything. Don't need a pocket full of cash to buy some too. All you need is you to brighten your day...

Fried Chicken

There was a story Rinto told me long ago but now he forgot that he told me before. Anyway he told me about the fried chicken incident that happen to his group of friends. As young men this group of friends were working odd jobs and collecting money just enough to pay rent. 3 times a day meals were not a priority as long as they have enough money for cigarettes and for fun.

One day when everyone just got their pay they decided to have fried chicken for dinner at home together. So that night they enjoyed their rare meal, finger licking good, and slept. Being boys they woke up late only to be surprise and awaken by the good smell of chicken soup. So they got up kind of quick and dive for the prepared brunch. Suddenly one of the friend said out loud to the others ...'wow who is so kind to have bought chicken for this meal'...then the chef of the day said ...'who said I bought the chicken, this soup was made from the left over bones last night'...aaaaaaaaahhhhhh yuck.....

Breakfast at home

Todays breakfast is rice with green beans sausages...hopefully will last me till afternoon.

and a glass of lukewarm water with honey and apple cider in a tiger beer glass..hahah..

Something bugging

I've been happy and cherry these few days must be the retreat having an effect on me. Things has been going great yet I have the feeling something bad is going to happen. From the back of my subconscious mind I feel something is bugging me

Can't put a finger on it just yet but I pray it's not something worst. There is a saying here that to much laughter might just end you up with tears. When ever I remember the saying I get myself prepared. Prepared or not whatever comes will just hit me like a train. I need to pray.....

Saint Theresa's Prayer

May today

there be peace within.
May you trust God

that you are exactly

where you are meant to be.

May you not forget

the infinite possibilities

that are born of faith.

May you use those gifts

that you have received,

and pass on the love that

has been given to you.

May you be content knowing

you are a child of God.

Let this presence settle into your bones,

and allow your soul the freedom to sing,

Dance, praise and love.

It is there for each and every one of us.

Leave it upon God's Hands

Sometimes we can't have everything we wan't just because other people have them. What we have around us, family, friends, cars, education, gym privileges, that little Chanel dress...etc is all parts of building the person we are today. Getting what we want may not help us, it may also fail us in life.

First thing is first if we want something, we got to pray for it. Leave it upon God's hand to let u have it or not. Cause we don't know what will happen tomorrow and only He does. It's up to Him to give.

Just like yesterday, I was worried about my driving test, I prayed that morning for guidance, protection, strenght, wisdom and whatever it is I leave it upon His mighty hands. I took a bus at neighbourhood, apparently bus don't pass as often as before anymore. Although my dad called me half way while I walked to the bus stop to give me a ride I said no thanks and prayed deep down God send me a bus. 20 minutes later the bus came. With the guidance and protection of God I made it to the driving test center. After taking time to do the mock test and some revisions I took the test and passed. Others came in and fail their test and that was the 2nd attempt for them. I must say it wasn't that hard but the questions where purposely misleading at times.

Another time was when I was young, seeing my parents fight all the time made me think if I would ever have a good relationship with anyone in the future. So I prayed for a good relationship and partner. Years past and now I have a wonderful husband. Although we have just been 1 year married and have been together for 11years now of course I still worry about unpredictable things...any girlfriend and wife would, I continue to pray for guidance

Living life is not easy poor or rich. Although outside life is great but inside we cry alone at night...I was like that I tell you I was a wreck...suddenly broke down and cried but I learn to get through it with God's strenght.

I learn to let go of my problems and let God handle them. Although my experience that you have read are not so incredibly wow-weee, I wan't you to try, whether you believe or deny Him. If your ever having a bad day.... leave it upon God's hands sincerely.....

Healthy Mut

Even the dogs are healthy and cukup makan...these I took between the retreat center and the at the orphanage next door..Don Bosco Orphanage

Clarice was trying to get the dog to look at my camera with her foot...

I know...cute kan

Puppies wrestling


Cute again

This one look like a St. Bernard..excuse me look here puppy

And the dogs there have big heads. And every time the orphanage bell is ringing the dogs all join howling like a choir..

Weekend Retreat

I was away for the weekend for a church retreat on bible in the family life. It was 3days and 2 nights of fun with the Lord.

During my stay I manage to capture beautiful pictures with my cell phone camera, I forgot to bring my camera. Anyway everything came out beautiful

I have publish my pictures in all my blogs so feel free to check out my other blogs-stylekita and amy's art diary.

Picture here are Mt. Kinabalu, Steps to the church, the Garden at the retreat center.