Puteri Karmel

On the 5th of December 2008, my cousin and I decided to hit the road to Puteri Karmel, Kangaran in Tambunan for Life in The Spirit Seminar. The trip from home to Tambunan town was around 1 hour after which we took a left turn from the center of the town towards Kaingaran-our 1st time to a unknown place. Below is a picture taken along the way to the retreat center. The view was magnificent, mountains after mountains.
The road as you can see is not smooth. We had to go slow over graveled and jagged stone road. We were worried that it might get dark soon cause it was around 5pm and we prayed it doesn't start.


We finally made it although we were 30 minutes late. From the distance we saw everyone had already arrive and stared with sing and praise. Picture below of my cousin still have time to give the camera a little wave :-). So we quickly rush down the hill to register. We were so surprise we were participant number 838 and 839. This was the first biggest group for the seminar.

The entrance to the chapel is beautiful and inviting. We sat right outside on the first day. Soon later it became dark and there was a little drizzle of rain.

From the gate the road goes down hill, but luckily we got a parking somewhere near the gate or else we would have to walk up which my cousin and I just don't have the stamina for....heheheh.

The seminar attended by around 800 participant because of the school holidays. People came all the way from Sipitang to join in the praising and at the same time be healed by God. The chapel was pack in and out.

Below is the tight schedule, no time wasted. The seminar was in BM for the benefit of the local people and easy to follow for those English speaking faithfuls.

After each session we went down to the ground floor, here we took the road instead of the overly congested stairs, to the none permanent canteen. The fog is coming in from the distance.

Because we were late and there were to many participant we sleep in the hall right below the chapel. Unfortunately the picture below is dark but I just want to show you a rough idea. Praise the Lord no mosquitoes buzzing around, occasionally we encountered with some crickets and moths and long legged spiders. Other then that the floor is comforting during a long days seminars.

The morning session starts every morning at 6 am. The first morning people rush to the bathroom from 3 in the MORNING...I don't know how they can stand the cold water and air. We had our baths somewhere close to 5 am and the water was ice cold. One morning we decided to chilled out a while in my cousins car before the next session.

This picture taken on the 6th of Dec. I hate waking up so early but with the grace of God I survived....hehehe

On the last day I pose in front of the chapel's entrance. people clearing up the floor pads for sitting and taking pictures behind me. Right in the middle is the altar.
We went down the hill a little further to visit the gorotto. Here is a picture of the statue of Mother Mary up close.

Here before the bridge to the gorotto

And here is one from up the hill looking down. There is a stream dividing the sitting area from the gorotto area, beautiful.

There is still more to see if I went further down the hill but maybe next time.

I can see why many faithful likes to come to this place for retreats. It's so beautiful and isolated. Far away from the modern world your able to focus and have one to one with God. You have the nuns and brothers to accompany and guide you with praise and prayers. For me if I want to get away from the pressure of life and be close to God this is a place to come to.

It's amazing how the sisters here understand us in a way that is indescribable. You have to experience it here to understand. They offer retreats for big groups like this or one to one.

CONFIRMATION-THE SACRAMENT

I was 24 when I decided to proceed with my Sacrament of Confirmation. I had long to complete my Confirmation ever since I was engage to be married but never got to do it cause I was to afraid I would be to late or to old. If it was my choice, I'd prefer to attend a shorter duration RCIA class...........................that was then.

I saw an announcement in one of the church I attended randomly, about the RCIA class and I though it's now or never. The part I dreaded was that I had to attend the class for 1 year but I join anyway because of the urgency and that the class was on Thursday nights, meaning I would be free on Sundays.

I tried persuading my fiance to come join me but he said he wasn't ready yet. I was of course devastated to go to class alone but went anyway with a lazy heart. After enrolling a little later after the date of registration, I sat in class looking some sort interested.

Of course like any new class, there would be orientations. The class of less then 20 people introduce ourselves, and listen to one another. I was relieved to hear that I was not the only one attending just to get married and finding out they had a previous cathecument who joined in his late 80's. Gladly I felt my earlier insecurities vanished.

So in the beginning I tried to be attentively interested and amazingly my heart was captured by the real life experience of the facilitator themselves and others sharing the same faith. I was amazed by how some people can just leave the life they had before that was so ambitiously successful yet negatively showing in their attitudes like anger, drinking, drugs, cursing, revengeful, free sex and all the attitude presently influence by the world's way of living. In other words they had everything but they were invisibly empty. I had to find out why and how they did it. That was the start of my new life.

As you would know by now through by earlier blogs, I grew up between separated parents and love thirsty siblings. I was trap in a world of growing myself as a person and being parents to my brothers and sister. Sometimes I would suddenly burst out in tears wandering how I was going to fix this mess and sometimes without reason at all. I was lost, afraid and empty inside. Being born Catholics, I was thought the 3 basic prayers and I would use them all the time for comfort. Yet things I prayed and ask doesn't seem to be answered. So prayer became nothing just a dialogue with myself and I.

My eagerness for the answer grew from a tiny mustard seed. I began to listen attentively and absorbed every drop of knowledge that was shared. I wanted to be cured from my 'sickness' and I long to be love unconditionally. I found that in Jesus.

Days before my confirmation, I haven't even gone for confession. I was worried and nervous mostly cause it's been a while since my last confession. I lined up many times for confession but chicken out the last minute. The night before, I went to Sacred Heart Chapel praying for a priest to suddenly pop in and had sudden urge to give confession....well he never came. So I sat there sobbing and worrying what would become of me the next day. Disappointment came over me cause my preparation for confirmation was not complete.

Easter morning, I sat through rehearsal with a sense of fear and gloominess. Suddenly my prayed answered, the facilitator ask if there was anyone who haven't gone for confession that the priest was available. 2 of us stood up and we had our confession right that morning. After that I was relieved and ready.

Evening came. I sat through Easter Vigil praying and excited. My turn came for the anointing with the oil. As soon as the oil was rub on my forehead making the sign of the cross I felt a rush came over me...I had smile from ear to ear and felt like jumping. Quickly I went back to my seat with the feeling to dance and cheer. I hide my feelings to myself and poured them out during singing.....oh the feeling was phenomenal.

Ever since then, I feel closer to God then ever. My prayers now are more of a conversation with God then only to myself. I began to understand the route of my life. The things I always worry or though I should not have made that mistake before are clear to me. Most of my whys are answered and my hows are clear to me.

Although I may not be perfect, but I know when I need help, when I need guidance, when I am stuck in a rut, when I am feeling blue....I pray and He will definitely answer but in His own time and in His own way. Don't be discourage and don't give up just pray with all your heart and be patient.

Love and hate

I am currently reading a motivational book, cause I need a boost in my life. One of the things the book told me to do is to categories what I love and hate to have or do to put my life goals in prospective. Here goes........

LOVE

1. I'd love to feel free from needing to worry on money for bills.

I'd love to be financially free. (who doesn't)

2. Love to have more time with people who have no time.

3. Go on spontaneous holidays.

4. Love to have a home that I personally design myself.

5. Love to have a bossiness of my own interest-which I have not figure out what yet.

6. Love to be able to help others in need.

HATE

1. Doing things I don't want to do.

2. Hate bills.

3. Hate confrontations.

4. Hate direct selling.

So the message here is to change the way I run my life now and eliminate the things I hate

and to make more on the things I'd love to do.