Puteri Karmel

On the 5th of December 2008, my cousin and I decided to hit the road to Puteri Karmel, Kangaran in Tambunan for Life in The Spirit Seminar. The trip from home to Tambunan town was around 1 hour after which we took a left turn from the center of the town towards Kaingaran-our 1st time to a unknown place. Below is a picture taken along the way to the retreat center. The view was magnificent, mountains after mountains.
The road as you can see is not smooth. We had to go slow over graveled and jagged stone road. We were worried that it might get dark soon cause it was around 5pm and we prayed it doesn't start.


We finally made it although we were 30 minutes late. From the distance we saw everyone had already arrive and stared with sing and praise. Picture below of my cousin still have time to give the camera a little wave :-). So we quickly rush down the hill to register. We were so surprise we were participant number 838 and 839. This was the first biggest group for the seminar.

The entrance to the chapel is beautiful and inviting. We sat right outside on the first day. Soon later it became dark and there was a little drizzle of rain.

From the gate the road goes down hill, but luckily we got a parking somewhere near the gate or else we would have to walk up which my cousin and I just don't have the stamina for....heheheh.

The seminar attended by around 800 participant because of the school holidays. People came all the way from Sipitang to join in the praising and at the same time be healed by God. The chapel was pack in and out.

Below is the tight schedule, no time wasted. The seminar was in BM for the benefit of the local people and easy to follow for those English speaking faithfuls.

After each session we went down to the ground floor, here we took the road instead of the overly congested stairs, to the none permanent canteen. The fog is coming in from the distance.

Because we were late and there were to many participant we sleep in the hall right below the chapel. Unfortunately the picture below is dark but I just want to show you a rough idea. Praise the Lord no mosquitoes buzzing around, occasionally we encountered with some crickets and moths and long legged spiders. Other then that the floor is comforting during a long days seminars.

The morning session starts every morning at 6 am. The first morning people rush to the bathroom from 3 in the MORNING...I don't know how they can stand the cold water and air. We had our baths somewhere close to 5 am and the water was ice cold. One morning we decided to chilled out a while in my cousins car before the next session.

This picture taken on the 6th of Dec. I hate waking up so early but with the grace of God I survived....hehehe

On the last day I pose in front of the chapel's entrance. people clearing up the floor pads for sitting and taking pictures behind me. Right in the middle is the altar.
We went down the hill a little further to visit the gorotto. Here is a picture of the statue of Mother Mary up close.

Here before the bridge to the gorotto

And here is one from up the hill looking down. There is a stream dividing the sitting area from the gorotto area, beautiful.

There is still more to see if I went further down the hill but maybe next time.

I can see why many faithful likes to come to this place for retreats. It's so beautiful and isolated. Far away from the modern world your able to focus and have one to one with God. You have the nuns and brothers to accompany and guide you with praise and prayers. For me if I want to get away from the pressure of life and be close to God this is a place to come to.

It's amazing how the sisters here understand us in a way that is indescribable. You have to experience it here to understand. They offer retreats for big groups like this or one to one.

CONFIRMATION-THE SACRAMENT

I was 24 when I decided to proceed with my Sacrament of Confirmation. I had long to complete my Confirmation ever since I was engage to be married but never got to do it cause I was to afraid I would be to late or to old. If it was my choice, I'd prefer to attend a shorter duration RCIA class...........................that was then.

I saw an announcement in one of the church I attended randomly, about the RCIA class and I though it's now or never. The part I dreaded was that I had to attend the class for 1 year but I join anyway because of the urgency and that the class was on Thursday nights, meaning I would be free on Sundays.

I tried persuading my fiance to come join me but he said he wasn't ready yet. I was of course devastated to go to class alone but went anyway with a lazy heart. After enrolling a little later after the date of registration, I sat in class looking some sort interested.

Of course like any new class, there would be orientations. The class of less then 20 people introduce ourselves, and listen to one another. I was relieved to hear that I was not the only one attending just to get married and finding out they had a previous cathecument who joined in his late 80's. Gladly I felt my earlier insecurities vanished.

So in the beginning I tried to be attentively interested and amazingly my heart was captured by the real life experience of the facilitator themselves and others sharing the same faith. I was amazed by how some people can just leave the life they had before that was so ambitiously successful yet negatively showing in their attitudes like anger, drinking, drugs, cursing, revengeful, free sex and all the attitude presently influence by the world's way of living. In other words they had everything but they were invisibly empty. I had to find out why and how they did it. That was the start of my new life.

As you would know by now through by earlier blogs, I grew up between separated parents and love thirsty siblings. I was trap in a world of growing myself as a person and being parents to my brothers and sister. Sometimes I would suddenly burst out in tears wandering how I was going to fix this mess and sometimes without reason at all. I was lost, afraid and empty inside. Being born Catholics, I was thought the 3 basic prayers and I would use them all the time for comfort. Yet things I prayed and ask doesn't seem to be answered. So prayer became nothing just a dialogue with myself and I.

My eagerness for the answer grew from a tiny mustard seed. I began to listen attentively and absorbed every drop of knowledge that was shared. I wanted to be cured from my 'sickness' and I long to be love unconditionally. I found that in Jesus.

Days before my confirmation, I haven't even gone for confession. I was worried and nervous mostly cause it's been a while since my last confession. I lined up many times for confession but chicken out the last minute. The night before, I went to Sacred Heart Chapel praying for a priest to suddenly pop in and had sudden urge to give confession....well he never came. So I sat there sobbing and worrying what would become of me the next day. Disappointment came over me cause my preparation for confirmation was not complete.

Easter morning, I sat through rehearsal with a sense of fear and gloominess. Suddenly my prayed answered, the facilitator ask if there was anyone who haven't gone for confession that the priest was available. 2 of us stood up and we had our confession right that morning. After that I was relieved and ready.

Evening came. I sat through Easter Vigil praying and excited. My turn came for the anointing with the oil. As soon as the oil was rub on my forehead making the sign of the cross I felt a rush came over me...I had smile from ear to ear and felt like jumping. Quickly I went back to my seat with the feeling to dance and cheer. I hide my feelings to myself and poured them out during singing.....oh the feeling was phenomenal.

Ever since then, I feel closer to God then ever. My prayers now are more of a conversation with God then only to myself. I began to understand the route of my life. The things I always worry or though I should not have made that mistake before are clear to me. Most of my whys are answered and my hows are clear to me.

Although I may not be perfect, but I know when I need help, when I need guidance, when I am stuck in a rut, when I am feeling blue....I pray and He will definitely answer but in His own time and in His own way. Don't be discourage and don't give up just pray with all your heart and be patient.

Love and hate

I am currently reading a motivational book, cause I need a boost in my life. One of the things the book told me to do is to categories what I love and hate to have or do to put my life goals in prospective. Here goes........

LOVE

1. I'd love to feel free from needing to worry on money for bills.

I'd love to be financially free. (who doesn't)

2. Love to have more time with people who have no time.

3. Go on spontaneous holidays.

4. Love to have a home that I personally design myself.

5. Love to have a bossiness of my own interest-which I have not figure out what yet.

6. Love to be able to help others in need.

HATE

1. Doing things I don't want to do.

2. Hate bills.

3. Hate confrontations.

4. Hate direct selling.

So the message here is to change the way I run my life now and eliminate the things I hate

and to make more on the things I'd love to do.

Picture Perfect

Everybody dreams of a picture perfect life. A happily ever after.
Graduate and your the man.
Got promoted and your extraordinary.
Married and your perfect.
Have kids and your complete.
Who does not want to be sleeping on a bed of roses?

Unfortunately a perfect life, leads to a BORING life.

People say you got to have some spice in your life. Their right but I say you have to have some 'bumps' in your life. How else are we going to learn and mature for the better.

In a marriage course that I attended, the facilitator ask the class..who in here has not had arguments with their future spouse? If there is a couple here who has not had fights before please leave the room cause if you haven't then you've not understand each other yet. Please come back when you have.

Happy and sad, love and hate goes hand in hand in building a person. The difference is how a person overcomes the situation. The next time you feel that your stuck in a rut- think positive, nurse your battle wounds, dry up your tears with good quality tissue, toss out the bucket of rum flavoured ice cream, put your chin up and turn the other side cause the......

BEST IS YET TO COME.

and that's how you live life.... fall and get up again...

no regrets.... just life experiences..

The Time of the Month

(Yes I can't find what other topic to blog about so please excuse my forwardness...)

It's the time of the month again for every women to deal with-PERIODS. I still remember when I was younger expecting to have my first period, just like any young girls I was scared. I'd have so much question in my mind like 'does it hurt', 'will it be flowing out like water from the pipe','how painful will it be', 'I am afraid I might leak out my skirt', and so on so forth. Nowadays it's more like 'Ok stand back nobody mess with me or they're gonna get it' kinda look or worst in action or the fragile mood 'Oh no that puppy lost it's way...I think I am gonna cry'.

Besides the mood swings, for me I tend to eat a lot before periods. I have cravings of everything that pop's in my mind and that is scary. I would feel all bloated up before periods and I get so over paranoid with my weight...pity my husband have to hear..'Do I look fat..seriously...you better tell me the truth or I'll punch you on the face'....hahaha but not that brutal-lah. But the over eating doesn't happen to me on every pre-period time..if this month I crave for food next month I wont.

The worst is my tummy gets bloating so many people think I am pregnant and I get even more paranoid...argggghhhh. Once when I was in high school one of my guy classmates came and forecast that I will have my period in 3 days just by looking at my gut. Well that's a gift you get when your living with many sisters.

When my period comes my tummy shrink just a little and this time I feel like wearing sexy clothes as long as it curves my body right. Yes this is why women are women.

Then there is the which pad should I buy/use? moment. So many brand, so many scented kinds, so many colours, so many beautiful packaging...heck buy them all at less I have a whole year supply. Whatever goes your way.

Whatever our moods or our choice nevertheless periods are a great excuse for us to indulge in chocolates...mmmm chocolate and red wine....and pickles and limes and so on...

Be warn thou, when before and during period refrain yourself from drinking cold beverages cause it may give you bad effect on the womb area as we age. Better yet practice drinking hot, warm or room temperature drinks to prolong your womanly health...hehehe

Best yet...HAVE A HAPPY PERIOD

Contemplation

Last Sunday mass reading, the 34th Sun In ordinary time year A, got me contemplating on alot of things of my pass. Its the year end reading and of course we are encourage to rethink back on our doings towards other and towards God.

I though about how many people I shared my shoulder with, how many I helped when no one else want to lend a hand, how many times I ask for forgiveness, how many meals I prepared for the hungry and so on and so fort....I though about how many people I hurt with my lies and gossip, how many have I scolded, how many have I ignored to pursue my own happiness, how many have I not say I am sorry....

People say it's ok we are not perfect but each day we are given by God to redeem ourselves to become better people for others and yet we take a different opportunity...we take the opportunity to make ourselves better, ourselves richer, ourselves prettier, ourselves fatter, ourselves successful. There is nothing wrong with success as long as we don't lose sight of God., lose sight of Love.

We live in a world were the better you are the greater your respect but their wrong. It's not the success we have that is important but the love to others is. How can we make the world a better place if we think only for ourselves. Mother Theresa says it best....God does not want us to be successful but He want us to be faithful.

I may have hurt more then I help many but at least I know I did and I did it whole heartedly.
Get ready for a better you from me.

Bright Up Your Day

Unexpected bouquet of flowers always brightens anyone's day. The delicate arrangement on the bud of flower, the velvety feeling of the petals, the sprinkle drops of water that gloss and sparkle in the sun, the rainbow colour of nature always carve a smile on anyone's face. The problem is we don't get them as often as we love too.


Others may not understand us as well as we understand our self so why wait to receive, go purchase them yourself. I did just that. Well anyway I just could not resist buying a few as I walk pass the corridor of the mini market last Sunday.

The refreshing green chrysanthemum and sexy pop out pink of roses, caught my eyes. Together they make great combination and great contrast to any room.

I could not find for the perfect vase so I settled to place them in an old coffee bottle instead.

The flowers made not only me but others brighten up as the walk pass it. No matter what your feeling happy or sad...go get some flowers to brighten your day. Don't need to be good in arranging these days the internet can teach anyone anything. Don't need a pocket full of cash to buy some too. All you need is you to brighten your day...

Fried Chicken

There was a story Rinto told me long ago but now he forgot that he told me before. Anyway he told me about the fried chicken incident that happen to his group of friends. As young men this group of friends were working odd jobs and collecting money just enough to pay rent. 3 times a day meals were not a priority as long as they have enough money for cigarettes and for fun.

One day when everyone just got their pay they decided to have fried chicken for dinner at home together. So that night they enjoyed their rare meal, finger licking good, and slept. Being boys they woke up late only to be surprise and awaken by the good smell of chicken soup. So they got up kind of quick and dive for the prepared brunch. Suddenly one of the friend said out loud to the others ...'wow who is so kind to have bought chicken for this meal'...then the chef of the day said ...'who said I bought the chicken, this soup was made from the left over bones last night'...aaaaaaaaahhhhhh yuck.....

Breakfast at home

Todays breakfast is rice with green beans sausages...hopefully will last me till afternoon.

and a glass of lukewarm water with honey and apple cider in a tiger beer glass..hahah..

Something bugging

I've been happy and cherry these few days must be the retreat having an effect on me. Things has been going great yet I have the feeling something bad is going to happen. From the back of my subconscious mind I feel something is bugging me

Can't put a finger on it just yet but I pray it's not something worst. There is a saying here that to much laughter might just end you up with tears. When ever I remember the saying I get myself prepared. Prepared or not whatever comes will just hit me like a train. I need to pray.....

Saint Theresa's Prayer

May today

there be peace within.
May you trust God

that you are exactly

where you are meant to be.

May you not forget

the infinite possibilities

that are born of faith.

May you use those gifts

that you have received,

and pass on the love that

has been given to you.

May you be content knowing

you are a child of God.

Let this presence settle into your bones,

and allow your soul the freedom to sing,

Dance, praise and love.

It is there for each and every one of us.

Leave it upon God's Hands

Sometimes we can't have everything we wan't just because other people have them. What we have around us, family, friends, cars, education, gym privileges, that little Chanel dress...etc is all parts of building the person we are today. Getting what we want may not help us, it may also fail us in life.

First thing is first if we want something, we got to pray for it. Leave it upon God's hand to let u have it or not. Cause we don't know what will happen tomorrow and only He does. It's up to Him to give.

Just like yesterday, I was worried about my driving test, I prayed that morning for guidance, protection, strenght, wisdom and whatever it is I leave it upon His mighty hands. I took a bus at neighbourhood, apparently bus don't pass as often as before anymore. Although my dad called me half way while I walked to the bus stop to give me a ride I said no thanks and prayed deep down God send me a bus. 20 minutes later the bus came. With the guidance and protection of God I made it to the driving test center. After taking time to do the mock test and some revisions I took the test and passed. Others came in and fail their test and that was the 2nd attempt for them. I must say it wasn't that hard but the questions where purposely misleading at times.

Another time was when I was young, seeing my parents fight all the time made me think if I would ever have a good relationship with anyone in the future. So I prayed for a good relationship and partner. Years past and now I have a wonderful husband. Although we have just been 1 year married and have been together for 11years now of course I still worry about unpredictable things...any girlfriend and wife would, I continue to pray for guidance

Living life is not easy poor or rich. Although outside life is great but inside we cry alone at night...I was like that I tell you I was a wreck...suddenly broke down and cried but I learn to get through it with God's strenght.

I learn to let go of my problems and let God handle them. Although my experience that you have read are not so incredibly wow-weee, I wan't you to try, whether you believe or deny Him. If your ever having a bad day.... leave it upon God's hands sincerely.....

Healthy Mut

Even the dogs are healthy and cukup makan...these I took between the retreat center and the at the orphanage next door..Don Bosco Orphanage

Clarice was trying to get the dog to look at my camera with her foot...

I know...cute kan

Puppies wrestling


Cute again

This one look like a St. Bernard..excuse me look here puppy

And the dogs there have big heads. And every time the orphanage bell is ringing the dogs all join howling like a choir..

Weekend Retreat

I was away for the weekend for a church retreat on bible in the family life. It was 3days and 2 nights of fun with the Lord.

During my stay I manage to capture beautiful pictures with my cell phone camera, I forgot to bring my camera. Anyway everything came out beautiful

I have publish my pictures in all my blogs so feel free to check out my other blogs-stylekita and amy's art diary.

Picture here are Mt. Kinabalu, Steps to the church, the Garden at the retreat center.

Stuck!

If your coming from Donggongon to KK every morning around 7am this is what you'll be in...STUCK in a jam.

Normally it would only take around 15 minutes to reach the city but during week days let's just say please tune in to your favorite radio station.

Luckly it's not as bad as it looks. Just hold on to your seat and sing alittle song and you will be on your way slowly.

Brunch is served.......

Our most favourite Sunday brunch spot has always been the coffee shop cum bakery along the Lintas- Kolombong Highway. We love brunching there cause it caters many things we love.

One of the things I like about the place is you will never know what they've decided to make. Just like the French loaf top with chicken potato curry with onion and tomato bind together with a layer of melted cheese.

My old time favourite is the fried chicken. It is so juicy, a little bit spicy, crunchy and the most beautiful part is the size. One is just enough. They also have chocolate slice cake, pandan slices, egg tarts, nasi lemak and even kon-lau-mien (a noodle dish normally and originally serve with pork).

There so many to choose. It's a great place to bring the kids and believe me it's like a toy store. Rinto love having pork buns ( picture) and the pork noodles.

I forgot every time to find out the name of the shop but it's right next to a clinic along the highway, I know it's around the Iramanis area( if I am not wrong )...if your there on weekends don't forget to have some chives or spring onion bun loaf. Its like savory loaf...although you don't see a line buying them the buns disappear as soon as they come out the oven. When you get to buy some, store them in an air tight container and reheat them in an oven for 10mins before cutting them in two and spread whatever spread you desire.

Finally me driving-stage 1

Finally I started my driving class again...after all these years of cowardness I have decided to face my fears. I pray this time I will be better. I don't mind paying the fee and I don't mind the duration for the class but I mind waking up early.......but then again it's a great start to a better me...

I know it may look late for me but it's better late then never....around the bend and over the hill...the hill section I hate the most....haiya.....

Somebody stole the mouse....

I found it lying in Alan's bed.

..my it rest in peace..

When I came to the computer early this morning, I wasn't so surprise the computer mouse went missing cause it was giving me and the rest using the computer some problems lately. Yes I've tried cleaning it, clearing of the dirt or dust from the wheel, no different.

I knew sooner or later somebody was gonna take it off and have it replace but no new mouse was seen anywhere. I intended to get a new one soon as I got my pay this month unfortunately there is a little bit delay with my pay. I knew also my brother, big Alan, would have taken the mouse off cause he gets irritated easily...hahaha.

Not surprise but more furious I remain calm before reemerging each cupboard for an forgotten mouse...I thought I seen one laying around somewhere.... mouse or no mouse I must update my blog.

Thank God I didn't have to wait long just as I was blogging my brother Oliver came and handed me a new mouse..thanks Oliver

For The Time Being...

For the time being our bedroom has ceiling 'ornaments'..hehe

My husband has sports for this whole week

and he needs his jersy dried for the next day.

Luckily the material dries of fast- semiauto fast.

Amen to that.

Cute Photo

Rinto's 29th birthday.

Blowing out the candle

with the help of cute

little Bubu, our

1 month old puppy.

Our Unforgettable Day