Sorry I am Not Available on Thursday Evenings

Many people know I volunteer to help out in a class at Stella Maris Church, Tg. Aru every Thursday. Some seen me while attending the class and some may know from my husband Thursday routine...

rinto's friend :-'mari minum dulu(come let's go for a drink).'
rinto :-'Hari ni hari empat sia mau ambil bini sia di church, lain kali ja
(today is Thursday I have to pick up my wife from church).'

Hahaha, his great for being a good sport.The ride home together gave us time to make small talk.
I join RCIA when I was 24 for confirmation class. I join because I wanted to get married so my interest then was just to join and get the paper. Little did I know God had other plans for me...

Living between separated parents there are times I just felt I have missed something. I was very negative on myself. I felt un pretty, I felt my height was not normal, I was not perfect for anyone, I was timid. Fortunately I found myself with great company. I have friends who are chain smoker, do drugs, clubbing underage, drinker and so on but they all protected me from all the things they did. They advice me not to follow them. So I stayed out of some of those things.

As a child I prayed often for protection and guidance and He answer my prayers without even me realising it, till now. I always have this guilt for not completing my confirmation sacrament before but now it seems even sure that He has a plan.

When I did complete the class in 2005, I had a different view of God then before. I was full of encouragement by Him. The moment the priest anointed me with the holy oil my heart felt like bursting for joy, in fact I did a little dance that no one else saw...hehehe. The feeling was magnificent. That day change me to be better for GOD.

So the next year I came back and this time I sat in front of the class as a facilitator. I wanted to give something back to God for the goodness He gave me. I can say now that without my class I think I will be lose cause the truth is, an hour a week with God is not enough. We can say we prayed but do we really pray? We can say we attend mass but do we go early? We can say we donate money to the church but does it comes from the heart? We can do so many earthly things for the church but the most important thing we are ask to do we don't even acknowledge - spreading the good news.

I read in the papers over the last weekend an article about ANNE Rice the Vampire writer(I use to love reading her books). I was surprise to find out that she was a Roman Catholic before turn atheist and rediscovered God again after Hurricane Katrina. How wonder full it is, I thought to myself, that God called her back like the parable of the prodigal son. See how God works in mysterious ways. He calls each and everyone of us, we just need to listen and open up our hearts.

I was no angel then and I am no angel now. I am just an ordinary person being rescued by my Father in heaven. Thinking back I used to cry alone alot and have sudden breakdowns because of my past memories. Now I am free cause God has taken the burden of my shoulder and is walking with me. I still am fun crazy like before but to a limit.

I found God every Thursday in the eyes of my friends attending the class. You have those eyes too but you just don't now it yet. I pray for you that you find your answer to your sadness, your loneliness, your drunkardness, your emptiness and your problems. I pray you do.

You don't have to be voluntering for the church to be close to God, although we do need more help. You just have to work what God has given to you - Love -
Love thy neighbour.